


Spider-Man your friendly neighborhood disaster, what's your emergency?

by CoffeePressure



Series: The Marvel Tales [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: At least that i know, Avenger fangirl over Spider-Man, Avengers Family, Avengers are mess, Awesome Shuri (Marvel), Domestic Avengers, Gen, I hope it's good, Kinda, Peter Parker is a Good Bro, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Peter Parker is a Mess, Sam Wilson is a jerk in this one, The Avengers Are Good Bros, Tony Stark is a mess, Vines, Wrong Number AU, forgot to add, it was suppose to be one-shot y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, sorry to all of Sam Wilson's fans!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:08:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26667223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeePressure/pseuds/CoffeePressure
Summary: Or alternatively Avengers fangirl over Spider-Man for 1702 words ( i guess it's 3283 now???)Edit 07.01.2021: Why's here so many kudos lmao?Edit 18.01.2021: sk basically a series where i say it's finished but there comes readers asking for more and I never learned how to say no...
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Tony Stark & Avengers Team
Series: The Marvel Tales [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1762288
Comments: 14
Kudos: 137





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Everyone it's me, the author and I hope you'd like- this. I hope it's ok if not than you don't need to- Well if you read it already you don't have to do it again, ever? Enjoy anyway 🍵😑👍
> 
> edit: guys-- so many kudos- i'm dyin y'all-- luv u 2
> 
> You can find me on my self-hate blog [Here!](http://coffeepressure.tumblr.com/) or simply comment below! I would love to know what you think and see any of your ideas if you want to see anything of specific topic

Peter sighed heavily as he stood up from the ground looking down at the broken pieces of public sink. It was around 1 am maybe 2 and he was so fucking tired. Good for him teacher was sick and classes were starting at ten instead of nine which was just perfect. Vigilant shook his head as he headed out trough the window ignoring the ache on his back and lower front of his chest as well as guilt that clenched to him as he tried not to think about the sink. 

Finally after Vigilant found his phone he looked up his best friend number. He was supposed to hang out with him but now Ned was probably long asleep, he sighed once again. "God, that's why you have only one friend Parker" He muttered to himself as he found the new number Ned given him. 

He didn't hesitate before starting with his explanation oblivious to the fact it wouldn't be Ned who'd receive the message. 

Meanwhile Tony Stark was muttering angrily insults under his nose struggling with some mechanism that broke in their Quinjet. Tired, on too much cup of Coffee.

  


  


NedHead  
  
hey i know i promised to come and hang out with u after patrol but i may or may not have a problem that looks like a broken rib or few for the matter. I think that's because of this- broken sink?   
  
First of all, how the hell have you broken a sink?  
superstrenght, duh?  
I mean it's not like it was the only reason. I'm pretty sure Rhino throwing me across tye street would be the second reason.  
Because I totally wasn't planning on being yet by anyone today let me tell you.  
wait i don't think anyone would ever plan this...  
anyway before you start with me being not careful enough I have to let u know that I'm not certainly equipped with common sense. Spider-sense yeah but man that's different.  
wait wait wait  
it wasn't even a minute how the fuck did you manage to send all of this?!  
I have a weird feeling that you're not Ned :(  
that's correct feeling  
  
oh man, I revealed myself, didn't i?  
do you think I'm that stupid to believe some random guy who texted me by accident is Spider-Man?  
relief than   
so what now?  
now you delete this number and never text me again  
wait what?  
Oh come on!   
  


  


  


This Guy Who Broke The Sink  
  
wait what?  
Oh come on!  
You're really gonna leave me like that?  
Alright? That's fair I guess...   
bye  
geez 'm bored anyway  
😊  
second ago there was this sad guilt tripping puppy vibe and now it's happy puppy vibe that's cute  
I'm not cute >:(  
geez now it's angry puppy vibe i can feel this pout through tge screen  
how old are you? Five?  
i will let you know that if I was five years old I would be really responsible five years old  
you broke a sink  
  
sigh  
did you really defeated sighed on me Mr.Stranger?  
Am I really saved on your phone as Mr.Stranger?  
  
i  
No  
you really are a kid aren't you?   
  
does it matter?  
  
yes?   
  
ok, valid  
but that's not like I give u my real age, did i?   
your replies are enough kiddo  
ok but you're not like a pedophile? Right?  
WHAT? NO!   
that's what they always say  
First of all what did you except me to answer? Yes?  
  
and second I remember you texting first, so you couldn't exactly be my target kiddo  
fair  
not a predator than  
you're too trusting kid  
so you are?   
geez, how are your parents dealing with you  
kid?  
hey, you still there?  
they don't  
what  
they are dead  
oh  
an don't say you're sorry  
i don't remember them anyway, they weren't here much so it doesn't really matter  
it always does  
I'm fine  
that's what we always say  
are we though?  
  
that's oddly philosophical  
don't you dare changing tge topic Broken Sink Guy, I'm doing feelings here  
  
...   
what did u saved my number as?   
This Guy Who Broke The Sink  
  
why am I even not surprised?  
it's probably some kind of revange from the universe for calling mysterio's helmet a fishbowl  
in this weird, ridiculous way  
whatever webhead  
  
out of all the nicknames u obviously decide on the one i hate the most  
and which you hate the least?   
  
i think Web-Slinger?   
took you long enough  
  
oh, hash you  
anyways i think i will go back to patrolling cause  
i could've sworn u i just heard scorpion swearing out my name?  
text u l8r  
later than i guess?

Peter smiled slightly as he shook his head before pocketing his phone and swinging down from the roof. Maybe it wasn't really good idea to text a stranger, especially as Spider-Man but he was funny? And who ever said Peter was responsible. 

Tony on the other hand couldn't quiet believe that he actually would have enough luck to text with Spider-Man, who everyone knew was very overprotective of his identity. He couldn't shake the feeling that it could be real even though he knew there was more chance that it wasn't. There was a vibe to the guy thought that screamed Spidey. 

Mechanic spun on his stool gazing the holograms around him, amazing project flashing right at him as the idea popped into his head. If there were, anywhere big fans of Spider-Man, it were the Avengers- Minus Sam, he hated the guy for whatever invalid reason. Tony himself found Spider-Man quite cool, though he wasn't going to say it out loud. Ever. 

  


  


  


We ArE tHe AvEnGeRs BITCH  
  
bIrBthatcantfly  
for the last fucking time it wasn't me  
Natasha  
is if I was going to believe u  
actuallyflies  
guys? Can't we solve this like without figbting?  
geez do i even want to know?  steeb  
no  
Natasha  
fuckin die  
bIrBthatcantfly  
fight me bitch  
anyway i don't know how (actually i do) but I think I may or may not be in possession of Queens's very own vigilant's phone number   
Natasha  
elaborate  
bIrBthatcantfly  
whaa  
✨Magicalbitch✨  
that is some valid fuckin information here  
bIrBthatcantfly  
i must agree here  
DoctorAnxiety🍵  
Spider-Man? Really?  
steeb  
how if I may ask?  
no u mayn't steeb  
that's not even grammatically correct  
see if I care bIrBthatcantfly  
but- how?  
he texted wrong number bIrBthatcantfly  
yeah that sounds like him  
honestly  
u writed it as if u'd knew bIrBthatcantfly  
i know? we team up sometimes  
Natasha  
can confirm  
bIrBthatcantfly  
i am a vigilant too  
and u didn't tell us? bIrBthatcantfly  
i mean i thought u knew?  
Natasha  
you're not voicing it to clear to be fair  
bIrBthatcantfly  
valid  
✨Magicalbitch✨  
its black widow, she's valid  
ShuriJAN  
are we all going to just ignore that tony was texting actual Spider-Man? The Spider-Man? AMAZING Spider-Man? SPECTACULAR Spider-Man? SENSATIONAL Spider-Man?  
✨Magicalbitch✨  
oh no! We're definitely not ignoring it!  
we gotta take advantage of that! 😉  
VIZZION 20/20  
If I may, we don't quiet know yet if he really is Spider-Man as we don't have proof  
Actuallyflies  
who cares about spiderman?  
ShuriJAN  
there's a hyphen pussy  
Actuallyflies  
whatever  
DoctorAnxiety🍵  
I like Spidey and Hulk likes him too 😊  
ShuriJAN  
ive never been more proud in my life  
Spidey is true meme lord of youtube, must be protected at all cost  
plums  
seem accurate  
steeb  
i do not understand :(  
plums  
steeb  
ShuriJAN  
@Mechanic text him  
he's patrolling  
Actuallyflies  
at 3am?  
Natasha  
its Spider-Man  
Actuallyflies  
as if it explained anything   
Natasha  
it does  
ShuriJAN  
it does in fact explain everything, @Mechanic text HIM  
whatever but don't blame me if he doesn't answer   
ShuriJAN  
oh if he's he will

  


  


web-slinging sink breaker  
  
Spider-Man?  
say my name and I magically appear  
what's up m8  
aren't you on patrol?  
oh i definitely am  
this dude, bank robber, yeah?   
he said come down and fight like a man  
and i was like go up here an fight like a spider?  
than he started shooting... Why are they always shooting?   
YOU'RE FIGHTING A FUCKING BANK ROBBERS?!  
i mean I already webbed them up but like-  
duh  
so what u need from your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man?   
how do you even  
?¿?¿?¿

ShuriJAN  
so, @Mechanic what did he say?   
what did he say?   
[screenshots]  
plums  
mood  
steeb  
buuuuck :(  
bIrBthatcantfly  
that is definitely a Spider-Man  
Natasha  
can confirm  
Actuallyflies  
And you said that because?   
bIrBthatcantfly  
i know? Duh?  
Natasha  
that's valid  
there's only one person that speaks/texts like that  
and it's Spidey  
you say it as if he had very specific way of talking  
Natasha  
puns  
ShuriJAN  
Spider-Puns  
that's valid i guess  
DoctorAnxiety🍵  
He does have very specific humor   
i guess  
now that i think about it that one with bank robber was quiet funny...  
ShuriJAN  
give me his number?  
no way  
ShuriJAN  
👿👿👿  
?¿?¿?¿  
hey?  
halo? Mr.Stranger Sir?  
Come on!   
really, why did u text me  
man  
that's just rude 😠  
sigh  
friends wanted to know if you were valid  
...  
did you really just leaved me on read to text your friend you're texting with Spider-Man?   
...  
yeah  
that sucks  
was i decided valid though  
you can say you are now verified

but am I verified in the eyes of god?   
PointBreak⚡  
Indeed it is the Man Of Spiders  
I can confirm that

  


Tony spit out his drink the second the text appeared on his phone, eyes winding for a moment before he cleared his throat and came back to the conversation between him and Spiderling.

I-

yes-

man, do I feel flattered 😊  
...

You quiet alright there Mr.Stranger?  
im good

sorry, need to cut it short  
classes tomorrow 😊

well, today... 

ASSemble BITCHES 🍵  
ShuriJAN  
what's he texting  
not much  
he have classes in few hours  
ShuriJAN  
ive dedicated my whole life to our lord and savior Spider-Man and this is the thanks I get  
he have life you know?  
ShuriJAN  
valid

Tony shook his head laughing silently as he turned off his phone looking back at the problem in front of him. Then he came back to the conversation he had with Spidey, _he shouldn't be up so late_ he thought as he yawned. 

Yeah, maybe I will take a little break for once too" Stark commented out loud as he waved of the holograms and walked towards the glassed door of the workshop. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i can't believe im doing this--- man it was supposed to be one shot! like i was pretty sure no-one (literally no-one) would read it?  
> but i guess ppl like this and now I'm posting second chapter--- oh well
> 
> enjoy i guess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first - this is the only work i have thanks to which i can't forget that most people read on phones--- yes that's why usually my paragraphs are that long  
> aaaaaand i was posting this 17 January at 0:52 or something and they wouldn't let me post it in 17 January??? so yeah i don't care, it will be 17 January anyway
> 
> EDIT: so I was asked for more chapters??? like this isn't even good, why are reading this i'm cryingggg

Peter stretched his arms up into air grimacing at the sound of his bones popping in its places as he yawned, long patrol not any good for the teen who after the quick shower had to run back to Midtown prying he wasn't going to be late for the first period as ironic as it was with the classes starting later than normally- which brings him back to the reason of possibly being late, maybe he shouldn't patrol this long yesterday?

the young man shook his head annoyed at himself for even thinking about it because as much as he maybe needed that bream he had responsibilities, _nah, the patrol's important, I can't just don't go! what if someone needs me? rushed into his mind like every other time he even considered not going, because he can't just-- take a break! that would be selfish. Good thing Aunt May don't check on him anymore- or at least that much or he would be screwed with how late he came back, especially if she knew wich give him big anxiety to even think about._

__

__

What Peter didn't really think trough was unsurprising- Ned, who after being ditched probably wasn't going to be his usual happy and cheerful self, right? "I was waiting for you man! what happened!? new supervillain or something-" the guy was literally buzzing with excitement which was quite opposite to what Peter excepted, the disappointment that your best friend doesn't have time for you anymore-- and Peter could see this there, underneath because as much as Ned tried to cover the annoyance it was there, "So?"

__

__

"Um-" Peter snapped back from his thoughts bitting on his lower lip, "Yeah-I- I got a pretty rough beating from Rhino, you know- the usual," Peter said shrugging to which Ned only nodded humming before going to other topics leaving his friends sighing tiredly- because Ned wouldn't _really_ understand. Having a hero friend is cool, sure but being one? sometimes it sucks-- for his bones literally.

__

__

"What's up with him, you alright loser?" Michelle interrupted Ned as she approached them- and well, Peter can't let it show, they can't know about his late nights he spends on patrols instead of sleeping, they can't know about being thrown around like a doll, they can't because he's not going to be burden to anyone- so instead

__

__

"I'm fine"

__

__

__

__

Spider-Man who broke the sink  
they literally won't shut up  
who? your friends?   


__

_  
let's call them that for now though i would go more like with co-workers, yes, we all are literally your biggest fans   
first, i have fans????   
and secondly im not sure if i should be happy u believe im me now or rather not...   
are you ducking kidding me right now kid? of course you have fans   
its better non of my team see this because they will go into lecture of how superior you are and as accurate it is it's ducking annoying   
and what the heaven is wrong with this?!   
i was bored in calculus   
so i coded   
...   
so you just had me censored?   
yup   
brat   
being annoying is just one of my superpowers anyway i might change it back   
besides that? don't worry buddy u will get over it eventually! that and me talking because you know my fans i heard do except some kind of amount of amazing quips in every battle!  
  
if you don't get tired of me by then ofc and don't delete this number   
...   
soooooooooo   
you never said anything about yourself besides surely being one of my fans? (which i still can't really believe un bc come on fans rlly???)  
  
I'm mechanic (yes we exist and we're definitely valid)   
nice (it wasn't what i meant! i didn't want u to make you feel invalid!!!)   
science (im sorry!!!)   
interested? (don't worry about it kiddo, it's alright)   
of course! im like literal nerd dude! (thank god i didn't want to hurt your feelings)   
which maybe shouldn't be something i should be sharing but stilllllllllll! what are you working on, but like more specifically ig? any project that's not too top secret?   
woah there, maybe calm down a bit Spider-pup   
don't get too excited, we don't want you peeing over yourself now, do we?   
i-   
im not even gonna comment on it...   
alright maybe not my best analogy but you get it anyway   
...   
anyway, projects!   
_

__

__

Peter smiled down at his phone, the corners of his lips going up as he gazed through the amazing ideas the stranger send him- and yeah, maybe he shouldn't really talk with someone he doesn't really know but the things and the blueprints the someone just sends him? Peter couldn't help but gap at the amazing sketches showed on the screen of his cracked phone (thank you Juggernaut) of what seemed to be professional creations, something that Tony Stark would be doing- or, well, maybe he gone too far- The Tony Stark would probably beat this guy in minutes but still! Peter was literally buzzing to send out some of his own ideas as his fingers almost instantly rushed to type up an answer

 __

__

"What you so excited loser" Michelle was quick to snap him out of his thoughts as he brought his eyes back to hers cheeks heating up at the mere thought of being caught at- nerding out? yeah, it can be called that- probably? "So Parker?"

 __

__

"It's nothing"

 __

__

"Doesn't seem like nothing to me" Michelle retorted.

 __

__

"Just a wrong number I guess," Peter said rubbing his neck nervously, because well, now that he let it out he couldn't help but think how wrong of a thing that was - and forgetting the they know i'm Spider-Man which if they could track him down with this number they would find out his real identity and he would be-- screwed- but forgetting about this, the someone on the other side? it can be literally anyone, even a murderer! and that? that's bad

 __

__

"You having a second thoughts now, huh loser?" she grinned much to Peter's annoyance who glared at the girl

 __

__

"What?! no- no I don't it's not like-"

 __

__

"Hey, that's not what I mean, you know that" Michelle interrupted rolling her eyes fondly, "just ask Ned to secure the number or something- I don't really want you kidnapped, you're one of the not many people I still want with my life so, be careful yeah?" and before he could say anything in answer she went back to her book, Peter smiled just a little bit before going back to his phone

 __

__

__

__

__

_We ArE tHe 🅰️vEnGeRs 🅱️ITCH  
  
Natasha  
he's txting him again  
WhAt ArE tHoSe?!?!  
AND HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING? *le gasp*  
CawCawMotherfcks  
of course he didn't!  
CawCawMotherfcks  
the traitor he is  
WhAt ArE tHoSe?!?!  
Right?!?!?!  
Natasha  
that's betrayal Stark  
Natasha  
and like usually i wouldn't point those out to don't be a hypocrite i cant take kindly this one  
WhAt ArE tHoSe?!?!  
^^^^^  
fancyarm  
how dare you hide him from us stark!  
God Of Hammers ⚒️  
Indeed! How can you be so cruel Son Of Stark!  
this pussy that needs to die  
guys its just spiderman  
WhAt ArE tHoSe?!?!  
just Spider-Man?  
WhAt ArE tHoSe?!?!  
JUST SPIDER-MAN?  
WhAt ArE tHoSe?!?!  
it's THE SPIDER-MAN YOU FUCKIN PUSSY  
Antsy-Man  
Yes! GO OFF PRINCESS SHURI!!!  
CawCawMotherfcks  
YES! AND NOONE DARES TO TALK SHIT ABOUT OUR LORD AND SAVIOR  
CawCawMotherfcks  
wait- since when are you here?  
Antsy-Man  
to be honest i don't know man  
i don't know  
Furry  
*sigh*  
MagicalBitch  
@ToniStank come here and explain yourself  
can't believe he's keeing him all to himself after he literally said Spidey's too busy to talk with anyone!  
20/20  
I must say even though I may be not as much of Spider-Man fan as any of you, I do see it quiet annoying that Mr.Stark lied about this fact  
Brucie-Bear  
It would be nice talking with Spidey again, he's a nice company  
alright that's enough all of you, stop spamming or else i'm deleting Spidey's number WhAt ArE tHoSe?!?!  
*le bigger gasp* YOU WOULDN'T DARE  
try me Besides why did you change all of the nicknames again?! and when for fuck's sake?! this pussy that needs to die  
shuri  
well now that explains everything especially your nickname it's more than accurate this pussy that needs to die  
...  
WhAt ArE tHoSe?!?!  
Stank  
... yup?_

 _  
WhAt ArE tHoSe?!?!   
when will we all be graced by the glory of a man who is Spider-Man   
...   
i don't think that's a good idea   
_

WhAt ArE tHoSe?!?!  
DO IT  
Natasha  
you heard her Stark  
  
i don't really think we should-

__

WhAt ArE tHoSe?!?!  
JUST DO IT PUSSY  
Antsy-Man  
did she just-  
CawCawMotherfcks  
shut the Stark up? yup  
CawCawMotherfcks  
she just did  
fancyarm  
noice  
steeb  
buckyyyyyyyyyyyyyy  
MagicalBitch  
and in what kind of good cause  
CawCawMotherfcks  
right?  
CawCawMotherfcks  
i'm crying  
Natasha  
can confrim, he's crying  
  
i don't really have a choice do i?  
CawCawMotherfcks  
of course not  
Natasha  
no  
WhAt ArE tHoSe?!?!  
you never had  
Antsy-Man  
i don't think so man  
Furry  
*sigh*  
this pussy that needs to die  
i feel you man  
...  
it looks like im adding Spider-Man then

__

this pussy that needs to die  
are you fucking kidding me right now?  
WhAt ArE tHoSe?!?!  
shut up pussy! YES SPIDEY  


__

TinyStank added Spider-Man who broke the sink to the We ArE tHe 🅰️vEnGeRs 🅱️ITCH group chat  


__

Spider-Man who broke the sink  
???  
welcome to the avengers gc Spider-Kid  
Spider-Man who broke the sink  
TO THE WHAT NOW?!!?!?!?!  
WhAt ArE tHoSe?!?!  
HELL YEAH!!!  


Antsy-Man  
where are the puppy vibes coming from?!?!  


__

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to hell my friend. Comments below u know where it is. Have a cup of tea 🍵


End file.
